Today's the Big Day!

We've had Thursday, February 18th marked on our calendar for months...the day our second son would be born.  Alas, we once again find ourselves with a baby with a mind of his own.  Hamilton didn't want to come out (so my first c-section), and Beckett didn't want to wait (thus my second unscheduled c-section).

I woke up last Friday feeling like my tummy was a little funny, but still went about my morning routine as usual: breakfast, a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, getting ready while simultaneously pulling Hamilton off the bathroom counter and attempting to keep him out of the drawers.  This last attempt was, as usual, unsuccessful, so I ended up putting ON mascara (for me) as well as taking it OFF (for him).  As the morning wore on, I began to think, "Hmmmm...am I having contractions?"  I timed them for about an hour, and they were 5 minutes apart.  I then called my OB's office: Um, I feel really stupid for calling, but I think I'm having contractions? Is that even possible? My due date's the 24th."  She told me it was very possible, and I should go to the hospital to get checked out.  At this point, I, for some reason (probably the standard "freak out"), I started crying.  Hamilton rushed over, "Are you okay Mama? Are you okay? No more crying? Okay?"  I half thought about taking Hamilton with me...I was pretty convinced this was a false alarm, but I decided I'd take advantage of having my brother in town and called him (still crying).  He picked up Hamilton, and they (and his cousins, Heidi, Kristen, and Cuba) went to Disneyland.  At some point, I thought I'd better call Alex (you think?).  Once again, I felt a little silly calling and actually tried to dissuade him from coming. "It's probably a false alarm. I don't want to mess up your work."  Luckily, Alex is the type of husband who isn't really willing to let his wife go to the hospital by herself, so he left the office to come with me. Note: Beckett was born about 3 hours after this phone call, so good thing Alex doesn't always listen to me :).

While I was waiting, I worked a little more on the kitchen (Operation: Kitchen Organization had been slated to be completed over the weekend), made the beds, and put together a bag (on the off chance it wasn't such a false alarm).  I continued the "false alarm" notion right up until a nurses peeked around our curtain (where I'd been monitored for 20-30 minutes) and said, "Okay, she wants to do the c-section in about an hour."  Ummmm....what?  Baby? Today? What?  Alex stepped out to call people and four nurses descended on me to get me prepped for surgery.  By the time Alex got back, a nurse handed him some scrubs and said, "Alright, go get changed."

Having a c-section without all the labor and hours of epidural meant I was much more aware of what was going on, which ended up meaning that I got pretty nervous.  Luckily, I still had the focus to tell the anaesthesiologist that whatever he played on his iPod would be fine EXCEPT country-western music.  Definitely not bringing a child into the world to THAT.  The songs from his playlist I remember: "Smooth Operator" and that Jay-Z New York song.  Not bad.  Beckett came into the world at 13:04 and went off with a nurse and his daddy while I stayed behind to get sewn up, listening to idle doctor chatter and the instrument count (all accounted for...whew!).

My recovery has been SO MUCH better than the first time...I credit a lot of this to superior doctors as well as the non-emergency nature of this one.  The hardest part of my recovery has been missing Hamilton. He wasn't allowed at the hospital (I did see him briefly though...ha!), and he's been in Fresno with his grandparents since Monday.  I came home from the hospital and saw him for about 10 minutes before he was wisked off, leaving me sobbing behind in the living room.  Alex and I have tried to take advantage of the non-toddler time (how else can we deal with missing him so much?), but we've been counting down to his return since he drove away.

So, today actually IS still a big day...it's the day my Hamilton comes back home.  

Beckett's pretty cool though, too...so check out some photos of our second little guy...

He is here......

Surprise contractions + rapid c section = Beckett Roy Spjute, 6 lbs. 14 oz born 2/12/10 at 1:04 pm

Welcome to the world buddy!

Practice...

Travis and Heidi were generous enough to make themselves scarce for the last ten days, which afforded me the opportunity to enjoy some aunt-nephew time...with the added benefit of being able to test out the whole "two boys" thing.  I have to say, I think I'm in for a bit of trouble but a whole lot of fun.....

First Luke, Hamilton, and I spent a few hours at Disneyland.  Relieved to discover that two boys were NOT twice as much work...and this from the 9+ month pregnant lady.  

Hamilton actually spotted Mickey Mouse first...Luke and I initially dismissed his "Mickey! Mickey!" as referring to the opening gate flowers. Glad we took a second look!  Not pictured: hugs, high fives, and Luke complimenting Mickey's ears.

This is one of two jungle cruises we took.  Going twice in a row was Luke's idea, and I agreed with him that it was "genius."  Best part for (sadistic) me was when the piranhas suddenly leaped from the water and startled Hamilton.
Luke took Hamilton and me for a drive.  Honestly, the best time I've ever had on Autopia.  I spent a large part of the time yelling, "Watch the road you crazy driver!" I thought it was funnier than Luke did.
Waiting for the Nemo Sub.  We got in trouble shortly after this shot: you have to have at least ONE foot on the ground apparently.  Ooops.  What you can't tell from this photo (thankfully) is that Hamilton has a super icky diaper.  Yeah, we went on the ride anyway (sorry fellow travelers)...the boys were about to lose their patience.  On the tram ride back, Luke and I voted the ensuing diaper change the only lowlight of our Disney time.
A couple highlights not pictured: 1.  listening to a voicemail from Travis from Rome (or maybe it was Paris...so hard to keep track) over the car's bluetooth.  Luke had us listen to it three or four times....it maybe even topped Autopia for him and 2. After I fulfilled Luke's request for a Sprite to go with his Happy Meal, he asked, "Oh no...wait...you're my aunt, right? So, you can get me soda, right?  Grandma would be so mad [snicker, snicker] if I got one."  Aha...the difference between "aunt" and "mom." 

The next week, Hamilton and I invited Miles over for a "play date."  This actually saved me because Hamilton was crazy and unnapped that day...Miles kept him happier and more entertained than worn-out Mommy could alone.  

Here they are enjoying popcorn and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse:
And some dinner....
They liked to line up against the wall and then say, "Ready, Set, Goooo!" and take off...


I loved having the chance to spend time with all my little guys these last couple weeks.  Luke was actually the first baby that made me feel, "Wow...I could hold this little guy all day long.  Maybe I do have some maternal-something inside me."  And now I have another nephew I adore, a boy of my own, and another on the way.  How lucky am I? 

Two weeks to go....

Does two weeks sound like a lot or a little time?  For me, it depends on how I'm feeling at the time.  If I'm struggling to find a comfortable spot to sleep or to get off the couch, I think two weeks is forever.  When I'm remembering the pain of a c-section and the sleep deprivation of life with a newborn, it feels like a very, very short time.  In any case, here are some of the thoughts running through my head as I anticipate our new little bundle...

• I am, unfortunately, starting to recall the fallout of birthing a child: generally feeling gross, not being able to laugh (too, too painful), walking around like an old woman, horrifying mesh underpants, new stretch marks, crazy hormones, nursing stress, dealing with an occasional less-than-stellar nurse, and requiring Alex's help more than I'd normally like.
• Up until a couple days ago, naming our little guy was massively stressing me out.  We've had a list of about 5 or 6 names for months now, but every time I've decided on one, I HATE it within 24 hours.   For some reason, watching The Hurt Locker inspired me to finally put my foot down and say, "Alex, let's name this baby right now."  I guess the naming process felt a little like diffusing a bomb: tricky, important, and you really, really, don't want to make a mistake.  So, we picked one and 48 hours later, I still like it.  Miracle.
  
• Wait?  Did I miss saying the name we've picked out? No...just choosing not to tell people until after he's born.  Or, if you want, you can ask the nice woman down at Noah's Bagels who sold me a chocolate chip bagel...she knows...and approves.
• For a large part of this pregnancy, I've felt disconnected from the baby.  It is somehow more difficult to daydream and build that anticipatory excitement about your second child.  This is, I'm sure, due to the usual cliches of "How will I love another baby as much as I love my first?" and "How will I spend enough quality time with two kids?"  I also think I can contribute it to not wanting to imagine another kid in the mix when the one you do have is (select one or more of the following) (a) going limp in the parking lot rather than holding your hand, (b) is screaming "by myself!" when you try to put him in his car seat,  (c) throwing his food/fork/placemat/silverware off the table, (d) refusing to take a nap (happening right now...as it has whenever I've decided to nap during his naptime), (e) wiggling all over the place during a terrifically messy diaper change, (f) biting you (this has recently reemerged--often directed at my stomach...any psychoanalysis here??), (g) having a temper tantrum, (h) running away from you while saying "run away!" (that's just to add "mocking" you to the frustration of outright disobedience), (i) throwing up on you after you've been in "mommy and me" class for a whole five minutes, (j) wanting you to hold them when you're really kind of tired of lugging around the ?? pounds [censored for self-esteem purposes] you can't ever put down.  Ummm...could continue but perhaps this is taking too negative a turn...
• With a c-section, you're not supposed to carry anything heavier than your baby for something like 6 weeks.  And, I guess, Hamilton's not my baby anymore...I see sad times ahead for both of us.
• I spent yesterday afternoon at Disneyland with Hamilton and his cousin Luke...surprisingly, not much harder with two than one. Whew! And it was actually a little more fun.  Will post separately about this adventure...
• Will my insane sweet/naughty food cravings I've been suffering from the last few weeks stop when the baby's here?  Fingers crossed my cravings turn to chicken breasts, protein smoothies, hunger pains, and vegetables.
• How long will it take to get back into shape/lose the weight.  Must actually TRY this time...not just wait for it to happen.
• What will he look like? Whom will he look like?  What will his personality be?
• Please, please be a good nighttime baby. Please, please, please...
• I cannot wait to be into "transition" rather than maternity clothes.  I'm down to about 2 outfits that allow me to leave the house with some pride intact and not feel too uncomfortable.  And a sidenote "shout-out" to my Gap maternity jeans.  I spent $80 on them, which seemed ridiculously wasteful at the time. Would have paid twice that much now that I've been living in them (and feeling not disgusting) for 5 months.
• I'm excited for Alex to do my regular activities with Hamilton when he's on paternity leave like music class and park day.
• Hope the baby is born healthy.  I worry the entire pregnancy...
• How will Hamilton deal with the new baby?  And related question: how much TV is he going to be watching the first couple months.  Argh...
• No kids under 18 are allowed to visit the hospital (thank you, H1N1).  I am really going to miss Hamilton, and I also feel horrible that after days of separation, I'll be returning with some competition.
• I have never been a "Let me hold your baby!!" type person, and feeling that on seeing some cute babies around started making me worried about being devoid of maternal feelings.  But then I remembered holding baby Hamilton and smelling his little head...not so worried anymore.
• I am determined to be more pro-active with my care at the hospital this time...walking and showering as soon as possible, staying on top of my pain meds, and resting as much as I can.
• I WILL be able to do this...I mean, I've kept Hamilton alive for over two years (and with only two ER visits!).
• Alex has been texting me daily for the last few days with the baby countdown and loving words for me. Soooooo appreciate that!  I really love that guy and know our kids are really lucky to have him as their daddy, so I promise not to be too jealous when this one ends up being a "Daddy's Boy" like Hamilton.

Wow, I guess I have a lot on my mind!  And guess who finally succumbed to his fatigue in the next room?  Hooray!