Today

Ahhhh...the neglected "Me and My Boys" blog. It's already served its purpose (Beckett's first year), but it's nice to have a place for pure Hamilton-Beckett content. And there's plenty of that content, as it is my life right now. However, tonight I'll just write down a couple things from today...

* It's been a long week. I keep thinking it's Friday. *Sigh* Instead of a few times a week of maxed patience, I've been feeling it hourly. This makes for not good parenting and an unhappy stay-at-home mom. While I was getting the boys ready for bed, I started wrestling around with them, tickling them, and giving them "airplane rides." We were all laughing. Beckett was extra cute trying to cut in on Hamilton's turn. In the midst of that moment, I thought, "When was the last time I did this?" Too long ago. Maybe there's a reason this week has been a little tougher? Add "tickle and wrestle often to keep everyone happy" to my ever growing list of ways to improve my parenting.

*We had an HOA meeting tonight at our house. The boys, of course, would not go to sleep in time, so an inconsolable Beckett got rescued from his crib to join the meeting. Hamilton, predictably, crept to the stairs to see what was going on. Unpredictably he came out with his Mickey Mouse ears. Quite clever of him because it is very, very difficult--nay, I would say, impossible--to be mad at a little boy in sleepers and Mickey ears. He finally made it down as well, passing out cookies to everyone before finally taking one for himself. After the meeting, bedtime STILL wasn't happening, and somehow we all ended up watching an episode of Pushing Daisies together. That was probably bad, but they talk so fast and cleverly on that show, I'm sure they didn't catch on much. They are--just now--finally asleep, and I am hoping against hope that tomorrow morning does not bring super cranky pants out of that room. Luckily, though, it is actually Friday tomorrow!

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm not (nor have I ever been) a huge fan of Mother's Day. It's always struck me as a bit trite and contrived. Plus, I usually worry about how it makes those without kids or without moms or with sub-par moms feel. However, this year felt a little different. Maybe a one-year-old Beckett tipped the scale into the holiday's favor. Or maybe I made a conscious decision to make it a good, fun day. In any case, it did in fact turn out to be a great day.

I got to snuggle Beckett and sleep in a little more before being awakened by Hamilton bringing me breakfast in bed, which he helped make, and a card. We miraculously hustled ourselves to church and arrived on time for Hamilton to participate in the Primary children singing the prelude music. This had been making me tear up since I was pregnant, so I really couldn't wait. Unfortunately, it looks like it will be another year of waiting for me because Hamilton burst into tears and returned to our seat before any singing took place. Glass half full perspective: I didn't cry during church. Thanks, bud!

Alex had to jet to this office as soon as church was over. Kind of a bummer, but I'd resolved to embrace the day as a true mother's day (i.e. no father). While Beckett took a nap, Hamilton and I made my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe. It's the best, ask me and I will give it to you.

matching aprons...

I didn't realize how uptight I was about things until I had kids. Like, I thought it would be fun to bake with them, but I can't get over how they do everything "wrong." Yeah, I'm ridiculous. In honor of the day though, I let go a bit. Guess what? Cookies turned out, and we had fun.

The BEST part of making cookies...

Beckett even woke up in time to get in on the action...

Finished product, along with my awesome "cookie spatula."

Then, it was off for a walk on the Strand, where I promised Hamilton he could eat some cookies. Of course, while I was gathering everything for the walk, he managed to sneak one in the kitchen. How did I catch him? As I was walking downstairs, he yelled, "Don't come in the kitchen, Mommy!"

A nice passerby offered to take our picture. I happily accepted.

After a pleasant walk, featuring Hamilton running, sitting on the stroller, walking, standing on the stroller, and stopping to sit on benches, we made it to the pier. I think Hamilton could have spent all day there watching the surfers and scaring me to death by climbing the railings.

What I felt this day the most was that I need to be better about enjoying being a mom. Why shouldn't I? I do have the two best little guys around.

Overload

Hamilton and Beckett are in pretty cute phases right now. Phases that come with multiple "I have to remember that!" moments and routines each day. Unfortunately, keeping the boys alive and the house in reasonable order is making it impossible to remember and write down all those "unforgettable" memories. This is making me very sad and frustrated. So, I'm starting this post today, with the knowledge that I will add to it throughout the week, as I find my hurried post-it note list of moments and remember others. I tried asking Alex for help, but all he offered was, "If you were a better mom, you'd remember them." Thanks, Honey.

Beckett

• He is getting quite adept at crawling, realizing that my fingers are not available 24/7 to help him walk (he's working on confidence and Hamilton defense right now...he really CAN walk on his own).
• If I'm holding him and I open the fridge, he spits that pacifier out immediately...no matter how recently he's eaten or had a drink.
• He was really struggling with a nighttime fever for a few nights. It was rough waking up every hour or so while he struggled, but there were sweet moments too, like when the only way he'd stop crying and go to sleep was in Alex's and my bed while I lay next to him telling him "The Three Little Pigs."
• For the last 3 days, at approximately 11:30am, he loses it completely, screaming and crying until he gets put in his crib. We are, of course, always far from home when this starts.
• He's starting to push Hamilton away and retain control of his toys more. Good job, Beckett!
• Yesterday, he kept destroying Hamilton's train tracks. It felt like such a brother moment: Beckett thrilled about doing it, and Hamilton SO frustrated.
• He doesn't have "real" words yet, but his favorite communication is shaking his head no, as in "No, I don't want to eat that" and "No, I don't want to walk to Mommy. Just to Daddy." Yeah, Alex's is 2 for 2. Bummer.
  

Hamilton

• When I told him what the "real" name for his "peanut" was, he just laughed and said, "I don't think so!"
• To a random mom sitting on a bench at the park: "Things aren't going very well."
• "I have an excellent idea: we can count the clouds!"
• While Alex and I are having Beckett walk between us: "Pass him to me! Pass him to me!"
• Discoveries in the bathtub: Hey Mom, look at this! It tickles me!" Sometimes I think having boys is NOT so awesome.
• Hamilton was zoning out in the car after 7 hours at Disneyland. I asked him, "Are you tired, bud?" He responded, "No, I'm just hanging out." Later on the phone with Alex (bluetooth...we're law-abiding citizens), I said the boys were drifting off, and Hamilton immediately opened his eyes wide and sat up, "I'm not tired!" He was asleep less than 5 minutes later.
  

The Boys

• I had the best time pushing them in the swings yesterday. Hamilton kept alternating between wanting to be treated like a big kid "I want an 'underdog,' Mommy!" and like Beckett, so I was saying things like "I'm going to get you!" to him.
  

Random Pics

My last post was random pics by amateur photographer Hamilton. This post contains ones by his mom (also an amateur).

Some days I just think my boys dress awesome. It might seem egotistical since I'm the one that dresses them, but once they're in the clothes, it mostly feels like it was their choice and they are the ones that have to pull it off. I love Beckett's Puma jacket (actually got into a fight with Alex when I thought he'd ruined it) and his little Vans. All coming together, of course, with the best accessory: big blue eyes! Not a great photo of him though...way cuter in real life. :)

The boys were watching Mickey Mouse together (for the record, Beckett rarely watches TV), and I thought their little bums were adorable.


A colleague of Alex's gave us this cardboard rocket ship. So, so cool. Sad that the company that makes these and other similar items is out of business. We had a lot of fun in there (except for the 2 occasions it was used as an accidental outhouse).

Muscles! Hamilton wants to wear this shirt whenever he sees it. I'm continually amazed by how soon little boys are in fact little BOYS.
One day during lunch, Hamilton got trapped in his chair. Loving mother that I am, I took a few pictures first. I thought it was pretty funny and a good lesson, of course, about how you're supposed to eat and not play around.

Cheeseburger! Beckett is no longer accepting bite-sized food. He wants the real thing, the whole thing. Today he wouldn't eat pulled pork until it was in a bun with coleslaw.

Hamilton: A Photographer

We recently got a smaller camera...so I don't have to have our big, expensive one out and about. Hamilton discovered this camera the other day and has been enjoying doing some photography. Here are some of his shots.

This is one of me, taken with his direction, "Be angry!"


There are lots of feet/floor photos...
Bird's eye view of dinner...
A puzzle we did earlier in the day...
Took this picture right before he took the car away from Beckett...
Self-portraits in the bathroom mirror...
The camera is why I'm actually able to fold some laundry...yea!
Of course, Hamilton still tries to destroy my laundry piles (why?!?), so this is a picture of me saying, "Please! Don't mess up the clothes!"
Pretty sure Hamilton gets this view a lot...
This picture might be the result of his "jump zoom" shots (his term)...where he jump spins and then takes a picture when he lands. Already a visionary in the world of photography.
Hamilton took several shots of this toy before deciding that having the animals OUT was the better shot...

And the picture he'd been wanting to take since the beginning of his photo shoot: Daddy!

Beckett is ONE YEAR old!

My baby is a big boy now! Oh, not really. The second one teaches you that 12 months is still so little. I remember thinking that Hamilton was soooo grown-up when he turned one. I'm glad to discover that I get to keep my "baby" a little longer. We haven't had his official one-year check-up yet, so I'll have to add his stats later. And I haven't gotten his official one-year portrait either, so yet another add-on. But I didn't want to let more time pass before posting about the big birthday.

The Boy

• He's getting a little picky and tossing things off the side of his high chair, but mostly he's still a good eater. He likes cole slaw, for example. I don't know why, but I think this is hilarious.
• He isn't crawling, but he is pretty good at pivoting around and rolling where he wants to go. He IS getting frustrated about NOT crawling though. Hopefully, that will help.
• He LOVES to stand. He gets especially tickled when he takes his hands off whatever was supporting him. We're all impressed Cutie :).
• He rarely gets the opportunity thanks to his over-involved big brother, but Beckett can sit and play or look at books for the longest time. I love watching him do this.
• He's been pretty funny at bathtime, wanting to do whatever Hamilton is doing. Hamilton got some scuba diver figures for Christmas, and Beckett was so determined to get one for himself. These are like "army men" style, so nothing too exciting, but if his big brother was playing with it, he wanted to as well.
• He's really finding his voice. And by "finding his voice," I mean he yells a lot. I guess this is what happens when you spend your first year with Hamilton and me.
• He is great at going to my gym's daycare, but once I come back, he's had enough and cries if I go out of sight. Kind of love this.
• Even with the yelling, he's still a sweetheart and we all adore him.
  

The Day

I had LASIK the day before (nice selfish planning, Mom), so we kept the day pretty low-key. While not at all exciting for us, Beckett got spoiled with napping on his own terms for a change (no pushing through errands, sleeping in the car seat, etc.). Karen, Adam, and Wesley came over for dinner and dessert to celebrate with us. Alex made the grown-ups steak with blue cheese butter, asparagus, salad, and garlic bread. Yum. I don't even remember what the boys ate for dinner! I'm terrible...

Of course, the big eating event wasn't dinner, it was dessert. I made vanilla cupcakes (recipe courtesy of Heidi) with chocolate frosting (pre-made...this is a big "no-no" for me, but Alex was wanting to be helpful---and he was).

Hamilton just poked at the mini 3-layer cake I made for him, so I was curious to see how my big eater would handle his first taste of dessert...

He dipped his fingers in the frosting a couple times...




And then went nuts, going in with both hands, making crazed grunting sounds, and ending with a dramatic, intense squeeze of the cupcake itself followed by his tossing it on the floor. So much for homemade over store bought, huh?


We also had party hats and a special onesie.


And presents, of course...most of which Hamilton has kindly offered to share with him.


Below is a short retrospective on Beckett's full first year. The music is the same song I always heard for my birthday. I obviously had a very cool dad.

Perspective

This may sound hypocritical/bipolar/whatever after my loving "potty training" posts, but Hamilton is driving me nuts. Too much energy, too few naps (although some...thank you Tootsie Roll bribes), too many glass shattering screams, way too much attention to Beckett, too little sleep for me, and so on. I keep expecting this intensity to die down, as ups and downs of parenting do, but it seems were stuck in "flow" with nary a glimpse at "ebb." My temper is getting shorter and my desire to chuck him out the window growing. Not a great place. However (and, luckily, there is usually...eventually...a "however" in the trenches of motherhood), I had a couple moments today that helped me see the bigger picture.

The Post Office

Really? A positive experience at the post office? Well, Hamilton was crazy, naturally. Running around, pulling out mailing supplies, and enjoying the possibilities a wall of greeting cards offers. Luckily, there were only a couple other people in there, and they happened to be mom veterans. So, rather than looking shocked and judgemental, they had knowing smiles. The woman in front of us kind of laughed, remembering "those days." Her son is now driving himself to swim practice. The other woman, a grandmother now, assured me that Hamilton and Beckett will be buds one day...it would seem like it happened magically over night. She also offered a "good for you" for electing to be a mom at all, not like many people who don't want to consider kids until their 40s. Sidenote: I especially liked that bit because it made me think she thought I was younger than I actually am.

A needed reminder that kids are actually pretty funny and do eventually grow up and that being a mom is worthwhile.

Car Conversations

A woman in the ward has been in the hospital the last couple days with her two and half year old son. They came home today, and I was bringing them dinner.

Hamilton: Where are we going?
Me: We have to go to the store, grab something from the house, and then take someone dinner.
Hamilton (crying): I just want to go to Hamilton's house!
Me: Well, a little boy in our ward has been sick, and I want to do something nice for him and his family.
Hamilton (concerned): Is it Kieran? Is Stockton sick?
Me: No, no. They're ok. The little boy's name is Hunter.
Hamilton: Oh.

After dropping dinner off, I get back into the car...

Hamilton: Does Hunter feel better now?
Me (heart squeezing): Yeah, I think that made his family feel a little better.
Hamilton: Is his family sick too?
Me: No, but sometimes when little kids are sick, mommies and daddies get tired and sad too.
Hamilton: How do kids get sick?
Me: [some germ talk tied into encouraging all the hand washing we're doing lately]
Hamilton: [begins a complicated "germ tale" from his past]

It's so easy to forget he's a little person when he's pushing every button I have. Conversations like this not only remind me of that, but also show me how much that mind of his is thinking and growing.

Love him.